Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

Abused age 4

I was sexually assaulted by an uncle age 4. I didn't understand what had happened and when injuries to my vaginal area became apparent, I learned to keep quiet.

My mother became angry which further silenced me as I didn't understand what I had done.

At the age of 22 I broke down and the pain flowed out. When I addressed it (at last) with my mother again, I was met with anger and a sneer and "well, what did he do?"

Like that mattered?! He did it and the evidence was there at four years old wasn't that enough?

I was not to blame.


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6 thoughts on “Abused age 4

  • Jean Hatchet says:

    So very sorry that when you finally gained extreme bravery in this awful situation your mother reacted so horribly. I’m sorry this ever happened to you. You were not to blame. You certainly aren’t to blame for your mother’s lack of human compassion. I hope you find peace. Love and best wishes. JH x

    • Michaela Swallow says:

      Thank you. Yes I have found peace and know my mother never will but that is her journey and I left her to it.
      just felt it important to share with others,

  • Admin says:

    Thank you for sharing your experience with us – we believe you.

    I’m sorry that your mother compounded the abuse you suffered and we are sending peaceful thoughts xx

  • Mary says:

    I am so sorry for what happened to you and for the response you received when you found the courage to speak out.

    I wish you good luck as you come to terms with both.

    • Michaela Swallow says:

      Yes coming to terms with the damage she did was harder and did leave me feeling bitter but overwhelming pity for someone incapable of understanding and love.
      I have moved on and now work to help others so I can in some way repair some damages even if it be smal.
      more importantly thank you x