A daughter needs her dad to show her that not all men are like the ones who hurt her
I was raped whilst studying abroad. My dad showed no sympathy for me and always had a go at me. Finally it came to a head following the completion of my degree which I am very proud to say that, against all the odds, I managed to pass. He rang me up and began to call my lazy and pathetic and then blurted out that I had fucked up my opportunity abroad. I demanded he apologise, but he refused. I told him that it was wrong of him to blame me, but he ignored this. He then said ‘ok, ok, I’m sorry, I guess I shouldn’t judge without all the facts’. So he must be missing the important facts which make this not my fault? I told him that I was scared of him and I think he might be a rapist (which I do because he does not hide his hatred for women), teaching women lessons for drinking, flirting and wearing the wrong things wherever he can. He did not respond. He finally responded with, ‘if you want my help to find a job the offers open’ and then he tried to turn it around on me saying ‘this is so sad’.
I certainly feel like a heavily stigmatised victim and I will now lose out on my family purely for defending myself in the face of victim blaming. It’s really hard being the devil when you are violated by avid porn fans who view you as less than human, and it is even harder and more devastating when men who are meant to love and care about you see you as the perpetrator of the crime against you and you realise they never really loved you in the first place because they never saw you of deserving of human rights. I must say, not that he would have any clue or, for that matter even give a shit, but this is a devastating emotional setback for me.
We do NOT give permission for posts published as personal experiences to be reproduced, translated or otherwise published elsewhere. We will not contact people who submit their personal experiences on behalf of journalists, bloggers or other third sector organisations. These testimonies remain the intellectual copyright of their authors and must be treated with the ethical guidelines used by academics for research involving human subjects. Our full guidelines can be read here.Download this post as PDF? Click here