Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

The Trump revelations show how much women are expected to ignore by @EvaWiseman

Tweet me your first assaults,” wrote Kelly Oxford after the Trump tape leaked. “I’ll go first: Old man on city bus grabs my ‘pussy’ and smiles at me, I’m 12.” By Sunday the trickle of responses had become a stream, a river, the sea. Soon there were millions of women telling stories, often stories they’d never told anyone before, often involving walking home from school, or dancing at music festivals, or the kinds of men you were meant to call “Uncle”. Oxford said she was receiving two replies a second. “Anyone denying rape culture,” she wrote, “please look at my timeline now.”

There is the woman who was 10 when a man with a coat over his arm groped her at a museum. The woman who was 14 when an optician dropped a contact lens down her blouse and stroked her breast. The woman who remembers a man cupping her arse when she was in the queue for ice cream at Disneyland. The effect of reading all of these tiny stories one by one is cumulative. You stand up, eventually. You get off the bus with eyes glassy and an ache behind your ribs and you walk through a group of commuters carrying your phone in one hand and in the other despair. And then you order coffee, tell the guy your name, and smile, without teeth. ...

 

This article was first published by The Guardian on 16.10.16. You can find the full text of the article here.

 

Inspired by our participation with the Write to End Violence Against Women awards organised by Zero Tolerance, we are now collecting examples of good journalism about domestic and sexual violence and abuse to make it clear that it is possible to write about DSVA without resorting to myths, misrepresentations, minimisation and victim blaming.

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