Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

A man who didn’t talk to his wife would not be funny. He would be an abuser by Lola Okolosie

Since in 2016 turning on the news invariably resulted in a rush of negativity, it’s fair to say that by 31 December we were all fed up with the prevailing sense of doom. This perhaps explains why a story – the authenticity of which has been questioned – about a Japanese husband who didn’t speak to his wife for 20 years was reported as a bizarre-yet-comical, and ultimately cheery, item. Better that than to see it as an example of coercive control, something violence against women’s charities have been highlighting for decades.

Last December, ironically rather close to the dawn of the year just gone, some types of controlling domestic abuse became a crime in the UK, punishable by up to five years’ imprisonment. For many though, their understanding of “domestic violence” remains limited to its physical manifestations. ...


This article was first published in the Guardian on 2.7.17. You can find the full text here.

Inspired by our participation with the Write to End Violence Against Women awards organised by Zero Tolerance, we are now collecting examples of good journalism about domestic and sexual violence and abuse to make it clear that it is possible to write about DSVA without resorting to myths, misrepresentations, minimisation and victim blaming.


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