Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

Part 1 – Don’t Get Raped

From Amelia Bentley’s article in the brisbane times (my use of bold in the excerpt below):

A 17-year-old girl’s drunken night out at Brisbane club Friday’s led to her alleged violation and rape by two men, one of whom would later tell police he believed she had consented to sex because “she didn’t say no … she didn’t do anything”.

And then…

In the bedroom, the girl had consensual sex with a man and after he left the bedroom she saw three men enter the room, close the door and then some or all of the men engaged in sex acts with her.

Mr McCarthy said in the girl’s own words, at this time she was “really out of it” and “tried to move away but couldn’t” and that she had been in and out of consciousness during the incident.

Well, you get the picture.

Don’t go out and get drunk, it could lead to you getting raped. Also, don’t have sex with someone because it could get you raped by someone they know. Don’t be young, that could definitely get you raped. While we’re at it, especially don’t be a child, that could really get you raped. Don’t be older either, that can get you raped. Don’t be living in a nursing home; women get raped there. In fact, what are you even doing in an establishment like that, are you asking for it? Don’t be single; single girls are sluts. Sluts get themselves raped. Don’t be married either or you could get raped by your husband. Don’t go jogging, that is just irresponsible. Don’t go to carparks, that can get you raped. And really don’t go jogging in a carpark, that is like so going to get you raped. Don’t go to public toilets, that can lead to rape. Don’t be dying; dying women get raped. Don’t ever be unconscious for any reason whatsoever, you’ll get yourself raped. Don’t be injured either. Raped. Avoid being physically disabled. Raped. And particularly avoid being intellectually disabled. You couldn’t get yourself more raped. Don’t go out alone, that is dangerous and you could get raped. But don’t accept lifts either; that is just asking for trouble. Don’t ever be naked, it could get you raped. Don’t wear clothing in which I could imagine you naked, that could get you raped. Don’t wear short skirts, they attract rape. Don’t wear baggy clothing or pyjamas or hospital gowns or a hijab either, women get raped in all those too. Don’t have a father, brother, uncle or grandfather. You could get raped by one of them. And oh my god, don’t even think about having a step-father. So raped. Don’t be ugly or you could deserve rape. Don’t be beautiful, you will be too tempting. Don’t flirt with men, this can get you raped. Don’t be rude to men either  – playing with fire. Don’t take public transport. Raped. Don’t drive your own car, what if someone hid in the back seat, you could get raped. Don’t sell sex or anything close to it. Raped, raped, raped. Don’t be mistaken for someone who might sell sex. Obviously, you would get raped. Don’t be a soldier, a waitress, a teacher, a police officer, or a hairdresser. All these women can get raped, sometimes by their professional colleagues. Don’t dance, it could lead to you getting raped. Don’t relax, what if it made you look like you wanted it. Don’t be stupid, that will surely get you raped. Don’t be naive, you’ll deserve what comes to you. Don’t be adventurous, that is being stupid and stupid women get raped. Don’t be silent, who can be expected to know you didn’t want to be raped. Don’t be intimidated, that can signal weakness and will get you raped. Don’t be trusting, don’t be in awe, don’t be flattered by anyone – that could so get you raped. Especially don’t be female, that could really get you raped, although being male could get you raped too, so don’t do that either. And don’t be interesex or trans, people will think rape is for your own good.

Yeah, what leads to rape exactly? Amelia Bentley needs to wipe the misogynist fog off her glasses and get some clarity. Granted we’re still talking allegations here but drunken nights out do not lead to rape. Rapists rape. Rapists raping lead to rape. Victims are never to blame.

This post was first published here - thanks to author for permission to cross post.

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One thought on “Part 1 – Don’t Get Raped

  • Anne R. says:

    Oh, but silly little me thought, that when men can buy legal sex in every corner of the society it would prevent rape. I think that I have heard that argument before. But maybe silly little me was wrong.