A letter of complaint to the Metro
I am writing to express my concern at your article: 27 things men do in bed that women hate which confuses rape with poor sexual etiquette. It is incredibly concerning that you have published such an article without recognising that many of the 27 items constitute rape or sexual assault.
4. ‘When they think it’s sexy to spank you so hard that you just want to turn around and punch them in the face.’
Without consent this constitutes assault.
7. ‘When you give them a blow job and they start f*****g your face as if you don’t have a gag reflex. How about I’m sick all over your penis?’
Again, without consent, which is clearly not given in this scenario, it is sexual assault.
10. ‘When you’re in the middle of foreplay and they thrust a finger up your bum with NO warning.’
This is sexual assault.
13. ‘Putting their fingers in all your holes at once like they’re playing some sort of instrument. Far too confusing, you just don’t know what’s going on down there.’
The implication here is no consent which is sexual assault.
14. ‘When they think it’s a good idea to stick objects in you. Just no.’
No consent = sexual assault.
15. ‘Casually trying to have anal sex without asking and without lube. It does not just slip in there.’
This is rape.
16. ‘Being so aggressive with their hands during foreplay that they pretty much give you internal bleeding and bruising.’
The lack of consent in this scenario is sexual assault.
17. ‘Nipple biting. It just f*****g hurts.’
Again, that pesky issue of consent
18. ‘Pulling your hair so hard you scream and your eyes water.’
And still more pesky issues of consent.
The Sexual Offences Act of 2003 is very clear on issues of consent, as are the National Union of Journalists guidelines on how to report violence against women and girls. You need to consult Rape Crisis or Ending Victimisation and Blame to request their assistance in writing a correction to this piece. Anal rape is not a joking matter and consent is not a difficult concept. There is absolutely no excuse for you to publish an article which implies that anal rape is a matter of poor sexual etiquette on par with poor hygiene.
I would like a response to this email acknowledging my complaint and detailing how you will fix your egregious error.