Robert Tiffin killed Lisa Banks
Robert Tiffin killed Lisa Banks. He chose to emotionally abuse her and he chose to kill Lisa. Contrary to the sub-heading of an article in the Chronicle, no decision made by Lisa Banks led to her brutal murder:
When Lisa Banks told loved ones she was going to marry Robert Tiffin they feared for her future. But never in their worst nightmares did they believe the mum-of-two’s decision would cost her life.
Lisa's murder was not the result of poor decision making on her part. It was because Robert Tiffin made the choice to kill her. Suggesting that Lisa's death was the inevitable conclusion of poor decision-making on her part is victim-blaming. It erases the reality of domestic violence and the grooming process of violent men. It ignores Tiffin's choice to kill Lisa.
I understand that the article in the Chronicle is about Lisa's parents, John and Doreen Banks, and their grief at the murder of their daughter by a violent man but this article simply blames Lisa for the relationship and her parents for not succeeding in "saving" her. It is so unbelievably unkind to publish an article in which Lisa is referred to as "making a mistake" that caused her death Mistakes are locking yourself out of your house or forgetting your purse; Robert Tiffin killed Lisa: not a mistake.
We need to teach children the warning signs of abusive men so that they can see the reality, however, we also need to understand how difficult it is for women to see abuse from within the relationship. Women are taught from infancy that boys pull their hair because they "like" them. Girls are taught that they have no say in who gets to kiss them or annoy them. If they complain, they are over-reacting. Our entire culture grooms women into believing they have no value and teaches men the correct way to manipulate and abuse women.
Lisa Banks is not responsible for being the victim of murder. The only person who is responsible is Robert Tiffin and to suggest otherwise is victim-blaming.Download this post as PDF? Click here