Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

Murder is NOT a ‘domestic incident’

Geraldine Newman was murdered along side her two children Shannon (11) and Shane (6). Two days later the body of Paul Newman, father of Shannon and Shane, was found in North Wales. Police believe Paul committed suicide after killing his ex-wife and children. The police have also claimed this was a "domestic incident".

The murder of a Geraldine, Shannon and Shane are not 'domestic incidents'. Burning dinner is a 'domestic incident'. Making the choice to kill your ex-partner and children are criminal acts predicated on a patriarchal culture of male entitlement and male ownership of the bodies of women and children. Using the term 'domestic incident' minimises both Paul's personal responsibility for his choice to perpetrate domestic violence, which resulted in a 17 week custodial sentence in 2013, as well as his choice to kill.

Obviously, the police want to allay fears in the wider community, however the correct statement is NOT: "we believe this was a domestic incident and we are searching for only man known to the family". It is "we believe these murders were perpetrated by a man known to the family and we do not believe he is a risk to the wider community at this moment". Naming the sex of the perpetrator and recognising his behaviour and actions as the 'risk' rather than the victims (or potential victims in the wider community) is essential.

It is also important to link the murders of Geraldine, Shannon and Shane into the wider pattern of family annihilators. Family annihilators are men, who have a history of domestic violence and other controlling behaviours, who make choices to kill. These are not men with mental illnesses or who are sad. They are men who believe they have the right of ownership of their partners and children and who kill when their control and public persona are challenged.

Inevitably, media coverage of family annihilators makes excuses for their choices and erases their agency. In the case of Paul Newman, the Mirror quotes friends who claim "he felt he had nothing left to live for", as though its completely normal for a man to kill when his partner tries to end the relationship. The Mirror also states that "she allowed him to move back into the family home" and that "their relationship broke down again last year and she threw him out in December". They fail to mention that the most dangerous time for a woman is when she tries to end the relationship - that this increases the risk of the perpetrator assaulting or killing his partner and, in many cases, his children. Implying that Geraldine "allowed" Paul to return to the family home suggests that she is responsible for his violent behaviour. It ignores the escalating patterns of abuse and threats which violent men use to return to the home - that violent men often treated to kill their children forcing the woman to continue the relationship. Equally, the relationship did not 'break down'. Paul's decisions to engage in domestic violence ended the relationship. Geraldine is not responsible for Paul's behaviour.

Nearly all media coverage of family annihilators and other perpetrators of domestic violence engages in victim blaming language and the minimisation of the perpetrator's choices as well as the consequences of his choices. We need to listen to women when they say they are frightened or at risk, like Geraldine said in a text to a friend the week before she was murdered, but we also need to put into place better policies to protect women and children. We need more investment in specialist women's organisations that support women living with domestic violence and we need the criminal justice system to recognise that domestic violence is a serious criminal act - not a 'domestic incident'.

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One thought on “Murder is NOT a ‘domestic incident’

  • Hecuba says:

    As usual mens’ male supremacist police force utters that euphemistic term ‘it was just another domestic incident!’ Well that’s okay then – no need for the boys and men to worry their little heads about being subjected to male violence because the male perpetrator merely committed lethal male violence against his female sexual property (sic) and her children!

    So it continues mens’ malestream media and mens’ legal system including mens’ police forces all collaborate to hide/minimise/deny pandemic male violence against women and girls continues to happen because ‘male violence against women and girls isn’t male violence’ – it is something else!

    Until such time as mens’ male supremacist legal system and mens’ police forces are radically changed so that the focus is on holding males to account for their choice and agency to commit male violence against women and girls – nothing will change. Men in positions of power can if they wish radically change their male supremacist system but of course this would mean men losing their pseudo male sex right to oppress and subject females to violence with impunity!

    Women’s Liberation From Male Oppression means taking power and control of knowledge out of mens’ hands and ensuring women’s lived experiences become the definitive ‘truth’ not mens’ lies/excuses!